(via, of course, Colossal)
Holy SHIT. I desperately want these.
"At first we kept saying: ‘We’re going to beat it. We’re going to beat it.’ Then after awhile we began to realize that we might not beat it. Then toward the end, it became clear that we definitely weren’t going to beat it. That’s when she started telling me that she wanted me to move on and find happiness with somebody else. But I’m not quite there yet. Not long ago a noise woke me up in the middle of the night, and I rolled over to ask if she needed anything."
I think I have a concussion.
BOB’S BURGERS FAN ART: PROFESSIONAL EDITION
If you’re curious what the Belcher family might look like in police sketches, we have an answer for you courtesy of mega-talented Bob’s board artist Bradley Rader (you might remember Brad’s Tina-on-unicornback painting from last week). Bob would be pleased to know that in Brad’s eyes, he is a badass Charles Bronson type who looks like he wants to headbutt you.
We love fan art, btw. Pro, amateur, traced-off-the-TV, whatever. Send scans to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Today’s reviewer is Jess Combs! Jess is an improviser, writer and businesswoman (she added that last one in for her parents who paid for her MBA) living in Brooklyn. You can see her performing improv around the city with her team, Horse Room. She’s the one who initiates most of the scenes about crying, miscarriage and male genitalia. You can find her all over social media because her job is in the industry. That’s her excuse…
I’m not coming from a place of hate here but the original version of this song is painful to listen to. And by the way, if the children really did practice all year long, they should definitely find another hobby because they fucking suck. Also, this is way off from my favorite Christmas song, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by our TRUE lord and savior, Mariah Carey. But onto the cover…
Woah, hold on…something weird is happening…
FLASHBACK TO HIGH SCHOOL! I’m driving around in my gold Ford Explorer screaming to Dashboard Confessional. I’m skipping school and headed to the beach. I’m at the Wendy’s drive-thru getting a Frosty. I’M UNTOUCHABLE!!!!
But really, as the astute and eloquent RJ Watters declared via a YouTube comment just one mere week ago, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” This is not punk. This is a quarter of the way to punk. I bet their moms think this cover is adorable.
I had to do some digging to find the name of this band. They call themselves June and in case you were wondering, as of February 3, 2008, they went on an indefinite hiatus. Sing a little ding dong for their demise.
Knowing that, I think I get why the lead singer sounds like he wants to cry the entire song. I sound the same way when I sing Cat Stevens alone in bed after I try to get late night McDonalds and they’re out of McNuggets.
They almost won me over by removing some of the ding dongs up top. And then at 1:53 the singer seems to break through his sadness. The tears subside, a rainbow appears, and he brings some energy to his voice! But then OH, WAIT. They tricked me! Now they’re just donging away! They saved up the dongs for use later! Seven dongs in a row?! FUCK YOU GUYS!
They haven’t really done anything exciting here but it also doesn’t make me feel like I have restless legs syndrome like the original does. I’d like it better if it were sung by Mariah Carey. 7/10 ding dongs.
Dylan: Alright. Maybe I’m jaded. This is, what, like my third punk version of this song? Maybe it’s starting to hit me. I mean I haven’t heard the original McCartney version in weeks! In theory, this cover is good. It’s certainly ok – we have a nice sleigh bell percussion being used. The lead singer is killing me, though. He’s bumming me out. He’s singing so much through his nose that it’s comical. Points go to June for the acapella break down after the 2:00 mark, and the guitar solo is somewhat amateurish, but ok as far as “punk” solos go, I guess? Maybe the exhaustion of all these covers is finally getting to me, but I can’t muster anything more than a 4/10.